Frustration – A Self Fulfilling Emotion

The Problem

Every now and then I catch myself observing my own life objectively, as if from the outside, and gaining a useful insight into my state of being.  I had one of those moments the other day related to feelings of frustration.  It occurred to me that frustration has been a consistent companion of mine for many years now.

Life is a combination of circumstances we control directly, and circumstances beyond our control.  Together they determine our current lot in life.  And even though everyone is subject to circumstances beyond their own control at times, we still have the ability to be in control of our reactions to all circumstances.  Whether we cause them ourselves or not.

That said, sometimes certain reactions become so common in our day to day existence that we start failing to notice them because their steady presence means there isn’t a lot of juxtaposition to help highlight them.  Frustration has been one such reaction in my life.

I’ve felt frustrated about a number of things in recent years.  In particular, I feel stuck in my job and career, and I get frustrated that the perfect idea to escape it hasn’t come easily.  And then I get frustrated that feeling stuck in my career seems to creep into other areas of my life, giving me additional feelings of stagnation.  It starts to trigger a cycle of feeling unable to make life happen as I want it to, which only makes me more and more frustrated.

But frustration does absolutely nothing to move me forward.  Not a damn thing.  Sometimes anger or other negative emotions can provoke action to finally tackle a problem.  And I suppose frustration can have that type of effect sometimes.  But for me I’ve seen how it can result in self sabotage and robs me of the energy I could otherwise use to move forward.  It often results in clouded judgement and hasty decisions on my part.  The action it inspires is often not that well thought through which can have a tendency to backfire and cause outcomes that were the opposite of those intended.  For instance, wasted time pursuing a career idea or alternate path that I later realize isn’t the correct path.  It’s an extremely low vibration state of being.

Low vibration may sound a bit woo woo, but all I really mean is a state where negative thoughts snowball, energy wanes, the outside world is perceived through a lens of irritability, and clear, constructive motivation becomes harder to find and tap into.  It’s the opposite of flow state.  And it’s a worthless way to spend time because it causes more frustration which makes it more difficult to find the motivation to take the steps to move into a more productive state of mind and being.

Hence, frustration can be a self fulfilling emotion.  Especially when it becomes routine and unnoticed, allowing it to run rampant.  It creates it’s own existence by the mental cycle it perpetuates.

The Solution

But I noticed the frustration at work the other day, and I’m now going to discontinue it’s influence in my life.  Here is my plan to disrupt it and regain the energy it consumes so I can make bolder and more intelligent moves towards a path that will be far less frustrating to begin with, and to rebuild my reserves of creative energy to inspire more ideas:

-I’ve left myself a daily recurring reminder on my phone to be conscious of frustration and watch for it.

-When I notice it I will let it go.  It won’t be hard to let it go because I will remind myself that by letting it go I will conserve my energy.

-I’ve found that if I imagine energy flowing downward through my body and carrying the frustration out through my feet, it helps me shed the feeling more quickly and easily.

-And even if the act of letting frustration go requires me to just relax and do something mindless and distracting in lieu of trying to forge ahead, that will still be a better use of my time than wallowing in frustration and potentially self sabotaging behavior.

My thesis is that by stopping frustration in its tracks and not indulging it, my energy levels will rise, my creativity will increase, and I will make greater strides towards self sufficiency and flexibility in my day to day life.  I plan to report back on this experiment.  If anyone out there has tried similar experiments, I’d love to hear about it in the comments.