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Blog Nugget #4 – 10/24/18

Thank You Setbacks

As I was walking to work this morning, I was remarking at how good I’ve been feeling lately.  I also look very healthy and youthful.  Much younger looking than my age.  I’m my leanest in a long time and very strong, and my energy and mood are more optimal than they used to be.  My mind is generally working quite well, and my blood work results have been really good.  My body is looking much more vascular, and I believe this is likely due to reduced inflammation from eating a ketogenic diet.

So I have a lot to be grateful for, and it’s all because of the way I live now.  And the way I live now is a result of a lot of trial and error experimentation.  But most importantly, I never would have had the drive and patience to endure so much trial and error if it weren’t for the health setbacks I endured a few years back.  Thank you setbacks.

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Blog Nugget #2 – 10/22/18

Blow A Little Money From Time To Time To Build A Sense Of Abundance

While on vacation recently, there were a couple of businesses renting waverunners on the beach.  It looked really fun so I inquired about the rates.  The price was double what I expected, but nothing I’d ever miss.  Despite the fact that it was entirely within my everyday budget, I balked at the idea because it didn’t seem like a good deal to me at first.  I began to think about all of the “smarter” things I could do with this rather insignificant sum of money.  And for some reason I had the thought that impulsive purchases like this add up if one does it all the time.  As if I’m going to rent waverunners every day of my life.

A few days later I reconsidered and decided to do it anyway.  I was conscious of my previous thought patterns on the matter and knew I was being ridiculous.  And it was a blast.  The cash I spent means nothing now but I have a memory of flying across the water at full throttle.  I’d never tell anyone to blow their life savings on something frivolous, and money is relative from person to person.  I’m also opposed to taking on debt to do something like this.  There is also something to be said for not spending money on dumb shit sometimes.  But the point is that I caught myself in a scarcity mindset over an insignificant amount of money.  After I let go of my unnecessary resistance, spent the money, and had fun, I felt a sense of abundance instead.  And that felt a lot better.  Not to mention an abundance mindset is an asset in life for many reasons, and that’s worth cultivating.  So from time to time, just treat yourself and enjoy it.

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The Power Of The Present Tense

An Observation About The Power Of The Present Tense

A quick observation.  I was recently doing some of my usual affirmations about the things I want to accomplish in life.  Yes, I do affirmations.  I used to think it was hokey, but I’ve realized they are quite powerful if done correctly.  They just have to be done consistently over time for the subconscious mind to truly accept them.  Anyway, I became aware of the power of the present tense.  If I switched the affirmations from future tense to present tense it changed the way they feel in an interesting way.  Not sure why this hadn’t occurred to me before, but it suddenly dawned on me.

This switch requires a small leap of faith in the case of goals not yet realized, and potentially enduring some cognitive dissonance.  But it also makes the affirmations feel more powerful.

There is something profound about switching from I WILL to I DO.  

What was previously a sense of hope gets replaced by a sense of assurance.

Our conscious minds know when something hasn’t yet occurred, but in order for something to occur we have to believe in it.  And by stating something as unequivocally true, as if it’s already happened, it feels as though it entrenches the belief more deeply.

It no longer feels like something out of reach, but something that is already a reality.  Even if the brain and ego want to constantly send reminders that this isn’t the case.  Just repeat it enough and the mind will start to absorb it.

As Muhammad Ali stated once, “I am the greatest.  I said that before I even knew I was.”  Apparently it worked.

The power of the present tense

Convince The Mind Of The Present Tense Through Action

A lot of affirmations include a combination of actions to be taken now, and potential future results from those actions.

For instance, one of my affirmations is that I produce online content and products so I can have freedom and flexibility in my life, while helping others and becoming financially independent.

The freedom, flexibility, and financial aspects of this affirmation haven’t yet fully manifested.  I know I’ve already helped a few people, but producing online content and products are items I can accomplish at will.  Those are just a matter of doing the work.

The reality is that I’ve already been writing a blog for a year now, and I sell an ebook online.  I’ve even made a few bucks off of the ebook.  And that opened my eyes to that fact that money can actually be made online.  This realization gives my affirmations more power.

So by taking action, I can truthfully state part of my affirmation in the present tense.  I DO produce online content and products.  And as a result the whole affirmation becomes present tense.

This is a good example of the power of focusing on the things directly in our control.  Ideas start to become reality as soon as we take action on the items we can.

So if you have ideas that make you excited and passionate, start by taking action.  And as you continue down the path, try thinking of your goals in a way that uses the power of the present tense.  I think you’ll find it makes a big difference in your mindset as you go after what you want.

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I Walk Slowly

What’s The Rush?

Every morning on the way to the office, I walk for about fifteen minutes through the city.  It’s a nice chance to stretch the legs, get the blood flowing, and get a little sun on my face before being at a desk all day.

But it’s more than that.  It’s a chance to set a pace for the day.  A mental pace.  A spiritual pace.

I see lots of other people walking to work, and many of them are walking as fast as they possibly can.  Why?  Are they stressed out about the day ahead and letting their inner anxiousness reflect in their physical movement?  Are they going to be late?  And if they’re late, why didn’t they just get up a few minutes earlier?

Maybe some just like to walk fast and I get that, but to me it seems like a great way to start the day wound up and in a hurry for no reason.  And I notice that I almost always catch up to them standing at stoplights anyhow.  So they don’t actually make it to work faster.  Or maybe they get there a whopping minute or two earlier.

Even though I can move faster at top end speed than the vast majority of people if and when I want to, walking slowly is my choice.  I never shuffle my feet, and my strides are long and purposeful.  But I pay attention to the pace and ensure it’s putting my mind in the correct state.

I get to the office feeling relaxed.  I’m ready to deal with any stress thrown my way with a nice calm demeanor.  I can cruise through a ton of work without giving myself a mental wedgie.

It’s All About Being Conscious

We can all mindlessly go through the motions of our day to day and let the rigors of life build up inside of us to the point that it results in bad posture, headaches, poor sleep, etc.

Or we can be conscious at all times of how we move through the world, how we hold ourselves, how we react to the things we encounter.

The benefits are too numerous to mention here.  But several come to mind.

When I walk slowly and develop a relaxed mind, I put out that energy.  And then other people sense it from me and I put them more at ease.  They are less likely to bring their stress to me because they can tell I won’t absorb it.

So I’m far less likely to react to people.  If someone comes to me with anxious energy, I see it and essentially create a barrier around myself.  I hear their message but I don’t let their energy affect me.  And then I respond to them in a calm and logical manner.

By being relaxed, I avoid a lot of the health issues that come from stress as well.  I don’t get headaches, I don’t get exhausted, and my mind doesn’t spiral out of control which keeps my cortisol levels in check.  I’m able to breathe properly and make sure my posture is straight and upright.

Generally speaking I don’t get derailed from my real missions in life by the dumb shit we all have to sort through sometimes.

And it all started that morning with a conscious decision about how I walk.

Again, if walking fast is your thing more power to you.  The real overarching point is being mindful of your movement.  Pay attention to the details when walking, and one begins to pay attention to details in other parts of life.

I Walk Slowly In My Free Time Too

I like a calm mind in my free time too.  It’s no different on non-work days.  It’s an attitude thing.  People with a funky groove pulsing through their bones don’t walk like they’re on a constant series of deadlines.  They walk like they set their own deadlines and are the masters of their own destinies.  They’ll get there when they get there.  This shows self mastery.

Be An Example

Give walking slowly a try.  You won’t be the only one out there, but in my experience you’ll be in the minority and will be moving against the grain in a sense.  Watching others scurry to their cubicles while you take life at your own pace.  Like a master.  I see it as a small step towards claiming personal sovereignty.  And every step counts (pun intended).

 

 

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Just Commit To 15 Minutes A Day For Big Results

Small Commitments For Big Results

As a follow up to my recent post on imitating and then innovating, I wanted to share another trick I came up with for developing new skills and knowledge, as well as staying productive and consistent in any pursuit.

For anyone who has mastered a skill such as playing an instrument or writing (among many other endeavors such as developing physical strength or learning a martial art), they know that it’s always a marathon and not a sprint to achieve results.  It takes years, not weeks or months.

It’s common for people to want to get results and become great at something overnight.  But it doesn’t work that way.

It takes diligence, repetition, and commitment over the long term.  But the commitment doesn’t have to be eighteen hours a day, every day.  Consistency often goes further than Herculean efforts.

So lately when I’ve been writing, I’ve simply been committing to fifteen minutes a day.  I can always fit that in no matter what.  And it’s minimal enough that it’s a very easy commitment to stick to.

This is important because setting unrealistic goals is one of the biggest reasons people quit a pursuit.  They make a decision to bite off more than they can chew and quickly get burned out.  They aren’t patient enough to let small incremental results build up over time.

Some Days Are More Productive Than Others

The reality with creative pursuits, acquiring new knowledge, strength training, etc., is that human beings aren’t always “on”.  It’s unrealistic to expect oneself to be 100% every day.  Some days ideas and words flow, some days they don’t.  Some days a musician’s playing is effortless and flawless, some days they miss more notes than usual and feel frustrated.  Today a certain weight might feel easy to lift, while tomorrow it feels twice as heavy.  There will also naturally be some days when a person just doesn’t feel like doing anything in general.

All that said, it’s still important to remain diligent and practice/train/study regularly to stay on an upward trajectory.  At the same time it’s important to maintain enthusiasm.  So it’s not advisable to plow ahead endlessly when things aren’t clicking.

On the days when it’s evident that I’m not going to make huge strides forward, it’s still beneficial to do a little work.  And it doesn’t take very much to keep the wheels greased so to speak.

By doing at least a little bit every day, I avoid slipping into a rut where a couple of weeks pass by, I haven’t done anything, and I’m super rusty when I get back to it.

I only ever insist that I put in fifteen minutes.  I can knock that out while eating breakfast.  But if I’m feeling great, having fun, and ideas are coming to me easily, fifteen minutes can easily turn into several hours or even most of a day.  The small commitment is all that’s necessary to find out if I’m ready to put in a larger effort that day.

Even if I only put in a quarter hour I still got something done.  A little bit every day adds up.  Fifteen minutes a day becomes over ninety hours in a year.  That isn’t a huge amount of work overall, but it’s far from nothing.  And as mentioned previously it maintains overall momentum.  Add in the numerous longer and more productive days when things are going well and the time and effort really adds up.

Rome Wasn’t Built In A Day

When picking up a new pursuit, keep in mind that it takes time.  Some days will be better and more productive than others.  It’s literally impossible to become Jimi Hendrix overnight.  It takes many years.  So on days when something feels like a struggle, just do a little work and stop.  You’ll avoid frustration, be more likely to stick with it, and numerous small efforts turn into big results over time.

 

 

 

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How Writing Has Changed My Life And My Mindset

Writing A Blog Has Begun To Change My Life And Mindset

When I began putting thoughts, ideas, and experiences into blog posts, I had no idea how the practice would ultimately begin to reshape and focus my mind and views on the world.

I saw that it would be an outlet and an opportunity to share some things have been beneficial to me.  But the internal changes I’ve seen have been unexpected and remarkable.  And it’s has had a huge impact on how I approach life on a day to day basis.  Rather than going through the motions, I’m now constantly looking at how I live and think.  I analyze my thoughts and actions and gain new insights every day as a result.

A Few Of The Ways Writing Has Been A Huge Benefit To Me

1.  Writing on a regular basis has helped focus my thoughts.  I’m still working on the ability to organize the things going through my head.  But I feel far more mentally organized on a day to day basis than I did a year ago.  Now I go into all situations in my life feeling increased clarity about what it is I want.  And I’m much better at communicating it.

2.  As a direct result of increased organization of my thoughts, my goals are much better defined.  A year ago, if somebody asked me what I wanted from life I wouldn’t have had a succinct answer.  I could have rattled off a few things I was working on to improve myself, things I could maybe go back to school for, or the list of things I’m passionate about.  But my future goals and plans were not well articulated.  I now have a more defined vision for what I want to accomplish in the next few years and how I want to live.  I may not have every detail ironed out, but I have a very strong outline and a series of goals to get from A to B.  If someone asked me out of the blue, I could tell them what I want in life, and what I want to accomplish by age 45.

3.  Writing publicly has a couple of benefits.  For one, it makes me more accountable to my own thoughts and ideas.  If I witness myself contradicting something I wrote, I think about what I wrote and then either heed my own advice or admit how I might have been previously wrong and correct course.  And that then makes me think more diligently about what I actually want to publish.  I’ve started far more articles than I’ve published because I’ll often start to elaborate on something that came to mind only to realize that I don’t actually stand behind it.  And this then helps me re-focus and shed unhelpful thought patterns and beliefs.  This has trickled over into my conversations, emails, etc., in day to day life.  It’s a very good exercise to find clarity.

I Would Encourage Everyone To Write

I’ve been pleasantly surprised at the benefits of writing regularly.  I’m really just scratching the surface with a short post, but these three benefits quickly came to mind as I walking yesterday.

I’d never been one to keep a journal, but I’m sure it’s beneficial.  That said, writing publicly forces a greater level of self-scrutiny.  For me, it requires thinking about what I really want to put out into the world.

If you’re looking for a way to start dialing in your own thoughts, mindset, and direction in life, I highly recommend this practice.  Even if nobody reads what you write, the work is not in vain.  Far from it.

 

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How To Approach Interactions With Other People

A Trick For Productive Interactions – See The Other Person As Yourself

When interacting with another person, it’s easy to see them as separate from oneself.  This is not the most productive way to approach an interaction.  Instead, see the other person as yourself.

They are you, talking to yourself.  You talking to your own consciousness.  That may sound a tad schizophrenic and new-agey, but this approach has changed the way I experience conversations with others.

It helps me separate my ego from the situation and be far more objective about the messages coming into my life.  And perhaps it’s allowed me to glean greater insight from conversations.

How This Approach Helps To Re-Frame A Situation

I have a tendency to get defensive when someone attempts to give me constructive criticism.  I generally make an effort to remain indifferent externally, but internally I want to strangle them.

Lately, however, I’ve tried to see another person’s criticisms or suggestions as my own.  This completely changes everything for me.  I’m able to see them as some sort of messenger helping me out and challenging me to be better.  Telling me the things I might already know deep down but haven’t made conscious yet.

And in several instances I was able to put some of these “suggestions from myself” into action and see good results.

Not only did this help avoid unnecessary anger and annoyance, but I was actually able to make some beneficial improvements to myself that I would have otherwise avoided out of sheer stubborn pride.

It helped me let the message in as opposed to putting up a wall.

On the flip side, I tend to quite like public praise.  When someone compliments me in front of others.

Seeing this as me telling myself something positive is also helpful.  I now see this as validation that I’m on the right path.  It validates the things I put my effort into.

If someone says I’m glowing with health, it’s a reflection back to myself to stay the course with regards to diet and training.

If someone comments that I’m unusually well rounded and good at a lot of things, I feel glad that I’ve spent a lot of my free time learning new skills instead of watching TV.

And instead of only absorbing it as some sort of ego validation, I’m able to also see it as a beacon letting me know I’m on the right track.

Give It A Try

Not too much more to say about this.  Just a quick post about this thought experiment I’ve been exploring lately.  It’s proven to be a more productive way to interact.  Give it a try and let me know how it works out for you.

 

 

 

 

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Imitate And Then Innovate

A Great Way To Begin Learning A Craft

I haven’t been writing blog posts for very long.  I just felt that I had some things to say and share.  And with the internet, I figured I might as well write publicly in a blog format and perhaps help somebody else along the way.  But I don’t consider myself a fabulous writer.  I’m just figuring this out.  However I plan to dial the craft and get very good.

On the flip side, I’ve been playing the guitar for twenty three years.  In that time I’ve developed my own style and mastery.  My own voice.  My own tone.  I’ve even built my own amplifiers and tools of the trade.

These days I can just pick up the instrument and play.  And what comes out is authentically me and sounds great.

But I wasn’t always able to do this.  In fact, it took a long time to get to that point.  And I’m still developing.

When I first started, instead of playing what was in my head I played other peoples’ songs that I loved to listen to.  I wanted to play like Jimi Hendrix, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Mark Knopfler, Eric Clapton, John Frusciante, David Gilmour, and many others.  So I learned their songs.  I learned popular songs from rock bands of my era like Pearl Jam, The Black Crowes, and Stone Temple Pilots.  And classic rock songs by Led Zeppelin, The Allman Brothers, etc.

For several years I learned songs.  Both the chords and the solos.  And I’d play them over and over and over with the albums as my backing tracks.  Until it sounded just like I was playing on the album.

I also learned the pentatonic scale patterns and practiced them until they were locked in my brain and the muscle memory of my fingers.  And I started practicing them over songs on the radio.  It was a great lesson in learning to find the key of a song and then playing over the chord changes by ear.

I digress, but after countless hours of locking myself in my room and playing other peoples’ songs and learning scales, my hands could pull off some pretty impressive feats of guitar playing.  I got to a point where I could unequivocally state that I was a guitar player.

My First Band

I then realized it was time to join a band.  This was the 90’s and craigslist wasn’t a thing yet.  So I wrote up a handmade wanted ad for musicians, made a couple dozen copies, and stapled them on telephone poles all over West Philly.

I got several responses and started going to some jam sessions to see if I might find some good players.

I finally hooked up with a rag tag crew of odd balls, and we jammed in the drummer’s apartment on the third floor of a row house.  Unbelievably, we meshed instantly and made up a fifteen minute improvised funk-based jam right on the spot.  It was really kind of magical and I ended up playing in a band with those guys for a few years.  But that’s a whole other post.

The main thing I realized after that jam session was that I was able to pull ideas from things I learned playing other peoples’ songs and piece them together into something that was my own.  A little of this, a little of that.  And then a few pentatonic licks to spice things up.

As the band started playing together more, we started writing original songs.  Someone would bring an idea from home and we’d work with it until it took form.

Whether I was bringing in an idea I wrote, or creating a part to accompany something somebody else wrote, I continued to see how other guitarists had influenced my now developing personal style.  Both from the standpoint of writing rhythm guitar parts and improvised solos.

And that was close to twenty years ago.  My style has naturally developed even further in the meantime, playing in other bands and practicing at home.  Not only has my style developed with regards to musical notes on paper, but more nuanced aspects of my playing have evolved.  For instance, everyone develops their own touch on the strings and this has a huge impact on one’s sound.

My Approach Now

These days I basically never play other people’s songs when I’m practicing.  And when I pick up the guitar for the sake of playing the guitar I truly just play whatever comes to mind.  I’ve found my voice.  And I hardly remember how to play most of those songs I learned decades ago.  But that doesn’t mean they’re fully lost.  They’re part of the gumbo of influences that has become my guitar playing.

I first imitated my guitar heroes, and after that phase of my learning had run its course I was then able to start innovating.

Back To Writing

So I’m now learning a new craft.  Writing blogs.  I’ve written lots of papers for school, emails, etc.  It’s not as if I haven’t communicated via written word countless times.

But the blog is an art form all its own.  So I’ll have to develop my style.

So far I’ve simply focused on sharing information, or getting something off my chest.  But each time I post an article it gets a little easier to write in a way that feels fluid.  It may not come across that way to a reader, but at least it feels that way when I’m writing.

And I’m working on the unique form and cadence a blog can take on.

So I’ve been reading blogs I really like and paying attention to the things I like about them.  The layout, the organization, the attitude, etc.  And then I try to use some of those things in my own posts as I write about topics that come to mind.  I also take note of things I don’t like about some other blogs so I know what to avoid.  It’s a bit like realizing I want to learn Hendrix and not Nickelback, and then focusing on playing Hendrix songs and avoiding Nickelback altogether.

It would be inaccurate to say I’m imitating other blogs in exactly the same way I imitated other guitar players.  When it comes to writing that’s called plagiarism.  But I’m definitely looking for influences.  And who knows, maybe it would be an interesting exercise to re-write someone else’s post word for word just to get a bit deeper into their style (and not post it obviously)?

I hope to get to the next level soon where my writing style really starts to develop.  Where a multitude of influences turn into something new and different.  And as with a guitarist’s touch on the strings, someone who writes regularly probably starts to sense the way the sounds of words flow together and other nuanced aspects of their art.  But at first it’s always helpful to look to those with experience in a certain craft.

One thing I know for sure from the guitar is that it simply takes time.  And if I don’t give up I’m sure to succeed.

So you can bet I won’t ever give up.

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A World Full Of Strong People

Something That Could Change The World

When I go out into the world, I feel something insidious.  I smell it wafting through the air.  And then I see it.  I hear it.  Just where it originates from I’m not sure, but the effects are evident everywhere.

Sick people who have been told they are simply getting older and there’s nothing they can do about it.  It’s just their genetic lot in life they’re told.

Minorities being told they are victims and the deck is stacked against them, so why even try?  Just vote for the politician giving out free stuff.

Young girls using smart phones and social media to get attention and validation from perfect strangers they’ll never meet.  Glued to their screens walking down the street and missing all that’s actually going on around them.

People who believe the government, or their doctor, or a deity, or some famous person somewhere will solve all of their problems.  A mindset that looks externally to others as the source of both problems and solutions.  A blindness to the inner strength we all have the potential to possess and wield.

So many people have more strength and well being inside than they have ever experienced or even considered.  Mental strength, emotional strength, physical strength.  It’s all intertwined.  There will always be variations and levels since we’re all different, but we could stand to move the middle of the bell curve forward quite a lot.

I want to see more strong people every day when I walk out the door.  More people who can not only help themselves, but those around them.  People who are wise to the lie that they are simply victims of fate.  And who therefore won’t be manipulated into handing over their personal power.  People who can see and sense their own worth without being told by someone else.

If we are all part of a society, then the more strong individuals there are the stronger society will be.  It’s simple arithmetic.  4 + 4 is greater than 2 + 2.  And it’s a beneficial feedback loop.  There won’t be reason to focus on which group in society is more privileged than another because we’ll all be strong individuals, judged on our merit.

But there is so much knowledge that has to be spread for this to happen.  And so much bullshit that has to be overcome and stripped away.  Not to mention a massive amount of momentum moving in the wrong direction.

And the only way to do it is for more people to show the way.  Others have to see you striving and shining first, and then they’ll want to understand the secret.  People usually don’t make major changes when someone else tries to force them to.

You often have to plant a small seed and wait for them to come to you.  They come to you because they sense something in you.  See something in you.

So let’s make a deal.  You show someone the way through example, and I will too.  Because I know there are strong people like you out there as well.  And perhaps in time we’ll begin to have a world full of people getting stronger.  I don’t care if that might be a pipe dream because it’s the simplest and most effective way to a better world.

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Focus On The Things Within Your Control

Some Things Are Entirely In Our Control, Some Aren’t

Life has been reminding me lately that certain things are in our control, and others aren’t.  Every success, whether personal or business, is generally a combination of opportunity presenting itself and being prepared to seize the opportunity when it arrives.  This is why it’s really important to stay ready and focus on the things within your control.

We often can’t force the right opportunities and encounters to show up in our lives.  We can increase the odds through our actions and our thoughts, but the reality is that certain things won’t happen right when we want them to happen.

Yet we can make daily conscious decisions to take specific actions that keep us prepared for anything life offers up.  Everything from working on our mindset, to diet, and even the way we breathe will contribute to success in some way.  These are just a few of a long list of items that are always within our conscious control.

So that is where one’s focus should lie.  Doing everything to be ready for the things that aren’t entirely in our control, while always being alert and ready for the unexpected.

And when life dishes out hard times, these same decisions and actions can be a source of strength.  Tragedy and loss can’t be reversed, but just because life feels out of control doesn’t mean we can’t build ourselves up anyway.  The things we can control directly will help when it comes to putting one foot in front of the other after we get knocked sideways.  They are a target to aim at daily so we don’t lose our way.  And they ensure one comes out the other side strong and healthy instead of turning to destructive ways of coping with physical or emotional pain.

Patience Is The Foundation

First and foremost, aim to cultivate patience.  We can set our intentions for what we’d like in our lives, but it’s very powerful to develop a deep sense of patience while we live without the things we’d like to accomplish or attain.  Letting go of outcomes if very powerful.  This isn’t the same as complacence.  It means enjoying the daily work and the journey without expectation.  With this approach, frustration is less likely to creep in.  And this is important because getting to the finish line is often just a matter of staying the course.

It is when we feel and experience a deep sense of lack, or being without, that negative feelings like doubt and jealousy creep in and derail us.  Patience is the antidote.  To be able to simply be okay without the things we’d prefer to have.  Seems pretty obvious, right?  Well it’s easier said than done, and very easy to lose sight of.  So this is a reminder to myself as much as anything.

And it’s the foundation for redirecting focus to the things we can influence directly every day.

The Things We Can Control

Once a sense of patience has been accomplished, focus can shift to the things we are able to control directly.  The things that prepare us for opportunities that surface.  Here are a few to keep in mind.

Mindset

Mindset certainly encompasses patience, but there is more to it than that.  It means having the strength to turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts.  The term for this is re-framing.  Re-framing is a very powerful skill.

Any situation can be seen in far more ways than one.  Failure and criticism can be seen in a negative light.  As some indication that we aren’t capable.  On the other hand, they can be seen as a kick in the ass to grow and discover the things we can work on to become more capable and skilled.  Aim to turn every situation positive in the mind, no matter what.  Even life’s hardest moments have a bright side.  This will result in a fundamental shift that promotes forward motion and improvement.  Some might think it’s a bad idea to be overly optimistic because it can lead to disappointment.  I call bullshit.  An optimistic mindset combined with patience is powerful.

One technique I learned from reading Eckhart Tolle is to watch our own thoughts as if from a third party point of view.  Don’t judge negative thoughts.  Just detach from them and see them for what they are.  See that they are learned patterns.  See that they aren’t necessarily reality.  And in time any tendency to generate negative, self defeating thoughts will slowly start to fade away.

Breathing

Human beings are meant to breathe deeply, slowly, and steadily.  But constant distraction and stress can result in breath that is shallow and quick.  It is far easier to become anxious, irritable, and distracted when breathing patterns are incorrect.

There are many schools of breathing practice, but I’ve found two things to focus on that have made all the difference for me and keep things simple and easy to stick with.

First, breathe through the nose only.  Mouth breathing is for slobs.  Quiet nose breathing results in a nice slow breathing pace by default because the sinuses are smaller passageways than the mouth.  The sinuses also clean and moisturize the air we breathe.  And we lose a lot less carbon dioxide when we breathe through the nose which is crucial for health and mental calm.  There is no way to consciously nose breath at night while sleeping, but a way to ensure breathing is correct around the clock is to tape the mouth at night.  It sounds and feels a bit strange at first, but it’s easy to get used to.  Just put a small strip of surgical tape across the lips before bed.

Second, breathe into the belly.  This ensures the breath goes all the way to the bottom of the lungs.  It’s a really simple mental cue.  And this will trigger the parasympathetic nervous system which is the rest and relax side of the autonomic nervous system.

For more info on breathing, do an internet search for Buteyko Breathing.  But you can just focus on these two simple breathing techniques and get great benefits.

Nutrition

Personally I’ve done really well lately on a very low carbohydrate diet.  I’ve come to believe that metabolic health is one of the keys to well being and success in life.  Some people can eat pretty much whatever they want and still feel and perform great.  I can’t.  So I make a point of eating what helps me get ahead on a  daily basis.  And that means low carb, high fat, and plenty of animal protein.  If I can be in a state of ketosis I seem to be at my best and compete with the people who are able to eat candy all day and stay sharp.

I will throw in my two cents against vegetarian and vegan diets for staying big, strong, and mentally robust.  Even though I truly do see the appeal.  I was vegetarian for five years and it wasn’t good for my health or well being.  No matter how many beans, nuts, and other vegetable-based calories and proteins I ate, I continued losing weight.  I dropped from over 200 lbs. to about 165 lbs. in a few years.  After I reintroduced meat to my diet I shot right back to 190 lbs.  Now I’m 210 lbs. in my skivvies and lean as well.  Everyone is different, but animal based foods provide certain nutrients like vitamin B12, zinc, and omega-3 fatty acids such as DHA and EPA that can’t be found in adequate amounts or bioavailability in vegetables.  Our brains thrive on DHA and EPA.

I still eat a ton of vegetables, but a good quality steak and grass fed butter make me feel strong like bull.  That’s because animal protein is superior to plant protein.

Not to beat this point to death, but whatever you eat, eat real food the vast majority of the time.  If it comes pre-packaged, you generally shouldn’t eat it.  If the ingredients list includes items you can’t pronounce or recognize, don’t eat it.  The main point is that eating the wrong food (for you) will hold you back.  So make nutrition a priority.  It’s an easy thing to control every day.

Drinking & Drugs

Have some fun from time to time.  Nothing wrong with it.  But being hungover on a consistent basis does not prepare a person to be their best when opportunity knocks.  And hungover doesn’t have to mean vomiting and raging headaches.  It can simply be lower energy, a bit of brain fog, and poor sleep from one or two drinks.  Being off even 10% from your potential every day will take some toll.  Just my opinion.

If you haven’t taken a couple of months to be completely sober in awhile, give it a try.  It creates a juxtaposition that makes it obvious how a couple of drinks a night isn’t completely neutral.  Even light consumption on a consistent basis has an impact.

If you like getting high, make that an occasional indulgence too.  It’s also a lot more fun and interesting if it isn’t a daily habit.  It too dulls the mind if it’s a daily crutch.  Be smart and prioritize optimal function over catching a buzz.

With regards to any other party favors, use common sense.  Most anything isn’t helpful when it isn’t occasional.  And some substances should obviously be avoided altogether.

Fitness

A strong body is a huge benefit to any endeavor in life.  And a strong body strengthens the mind.  As a friend of mine who is in real estate has always said, negotiations are always easier for him when he knows he got up and squatted that morning while the other guy didn’t.  It’s a slight mental edge, not just physical.

And when in the dating market, the benefits of fitness are pretty obvious.  I mention this because that’s been part of my life lately.

I’m biased, but I think people should focus on compound lifts like squats and deadlifts.  And high intensity interval training like wind sprints or other short, but intense bursts of exercise.  I’m speaking to the ladies as well as the guys.  The occasional long run, bike ride, or hike is great too, but I wouldn’t make them the foundation of any fitness regimen.  And I love a bit of asymmetrical body movement activity like rock climbing or playing games that require adapting to moving objects and moving forward, backward and sideways.

The Company We Keep

Spend time with people who challenge you. Spend time with people who inspire you and expose you to new ideas.  Spend time with people who support your vision even if they prefer to live differently.  Spend time with people who are better than you at certain things.  Spend time with people who don’t waste time frivolously and avoid people who do.

And learn to spend time alone.  This is ultimate power.  When you’re perfectly fine in your own company, you have found your center.  This helps provide clarity when deciding what it is you really want from life.

Media Consumption

This includes movies, shows, news, music, books, online content like blogs and social media, and any other source of information or entertainment.

Generally speaking, avoid TV shows with regular commercial breaks.  Or at least mute the commercials.  Advertising is meant to make you feel imperfect, lacking, and less than others.  Then the advertiser tries to sell you something to help fill the void and make life whole again.  It’s bullshit.  Don’t participate.  You are perfectly whole.

The same goes for any music, movies, or shows that leave you feeling anything but strong and confident.  If it makes you feel sad, pensive, depressed, insecure, etc., just turn it off.  You are on a mission to be ready to tackle life every day.  Anything that weakens the mind and mood is a contradiction to this mission and is completely unnecessary.

There are plenty of good websites, blogs, podcasts, and non-corporate news these days where the creators want to share strength with you and inspire you.  Search out the good stuff where you walk away feeling like you have the power to take life by the horns.  Or where you learned something truly worthwhile and applicable in your own path towards living the life you want.

I listen to a lot of instrumental music.  Where the beat gives me energy, makes me feel good, the musicianship (or even digital production) is really solid, and there aren’t any lyrics imposing some sort of meaning.  I really don’t want to hear about somebody else’s heartache.

When I read, I generally read something educational.  Good fiction can be educational, but mostly I stick to non-fiction.  And I take a spin through Barron’s on a weekly basis to look for investment ideas.

Also, don’t indulge in porn.  And for that matter, don’t waste time masturbating.  Just don’t.  These things weaken the mind, the body, and the will.  I know from experience, and cutting them out is incredibly powerful.  My focus improves, my enthusiasm improves, I’m far more productive, and I’m much more social.  And I don’t feel like a loser.

Style

I can also make a conscious decision to dress well whenever I’m out and about.  That doesn’t have to mean suit and tie. But clean clothes that fit well go a long way, even if it’s just jeans, t-shirt, and sneakers.  If I’m at the grocery store and get an inviting glance from a lovely lady, I don’t want to be in sweatpants and smell like BO.  Not that it always matters, but being put together increases self confidence and makes me feel like acting on those inviting glances.

Sleep

Last but not least, get plenty of sleep.  Unless there is good reason to stay up late, go to bed early.  That way you’re less likely to require an alarm to wake up which allows natural sleep patterns to run their course.

Personally, when I don’t get enough sleep, or sleep poorly, I almost feel hungover the next day.  My cognition and memory are subpar, and my mood is less positive.

Pretty simple, but hugely impactful.  I realize sleep isn’t totally controllable, but we can control what time we go to bed, how we wind down at the end of the night, avoiding screen time in the evening, our sleep environment, and even looking into supplements like magnesium to help out.

When Life Throws Hard Times At Us

Knowing which things we can consciously control isn’t just beneficial when we encounter good times in life.  It’s also useful when we have to deal with trials and tribulations.

We all experience losses of various sorts from time to time.  When I went through a divorce, my first inclination was to pick up a six pack after work every night.  But I knew that wasn’t going to help me move forward the way I wanted to.

So I decided to immerse myself in vigorous exercise and ensure I ate impeccably.  Two simple tactics.  I was pretty grumpy for quite some time, and it was miserable coming home to an empty house because I wasn’t used to it.  But I knew that if I lifted hard or did some interval training that I’d get a rush of endorphins and feel just a bit better.  And that little bit made all the difference.  Throw a healthy meal on top of that and instead of drinking myself into a middle age spare tire, I got stronger and leaner than ever before which gave me tons of confidence to go out and meet new girls.

Final Thoughts

Whether we’re on the lookout for creative ideas, career opportunities, relationships, or anything else that may or may not show up on a given day, it’s always good to keep oneself ready.  So identify the things you can control and go after them.  And in difficult times, having a list of daily actions to keep strong mentally and physically is an unbelievably effective tool for maintaining forward motion in life.  When we do small things daily, they accumulate and add up in a big way over time.

What else might you add to this list?