Let Go To Allow Space For New Things In Life
I just made a huge life change. And it’s the reason I haven’t written much lately. I decided to sell my house on the edge of the Rocky Mountains and move to Florida. Not because I wanted to leave my home. But because I saw more opportunity to set myself up for the future in Florida. And perhaps in time live in both places. After all, it’s pretty nice here being in the sunshine and saltwater every day! I was also existing in a pattern of familiarity and ease before this move that wasn’t conducive to personal growth. So the idea of a new challenge was very appealing.
That’s not the real point of this post. But the fact that moving was advantageous for my present and future lives required me to venture into the unknown in more ways than one. I’ve been to this area before plenty of times. And I have family ties here on some level as well. But at the same time I’m a bit of a stranger in a strange land. And it’s going to take some time and effort to turn this into a new home base. I’ll have to be patient. I’ll have to deal with loneliness. And most of all I’ll have to let go of my old life and patterns to some extent to allow space for new things in life to unfold.
For instance, I’ll have to make new connections, friendships, and relationships.
I’ll also develop new passions, ideas and activities to pursue. And find new ways and venues to pursue current passions.
Learning to LET these things happen on some level is a bit of an art I’ll have to nurture.
Some Action Is Still Required
In addition to allowing space, some of these things will require me to take action. To go out into the world.
Florida isn’t known for surfing, but there is surf to be had. Especially for someone who comes from the high desert and just wants to get out on a board more regularly. So surf I will. And perhaps I’ll be able to meet some people to go surfing with.
After years of working out by myself in my garage gym, I have also started going to high intensity interval conditioning workouts at a local strength-based gym. I plan to set up my home gym down here as well since it saves money. But holy shit it’s fun to to go do an hour long torture session with others to be pushed by a little competition! And in time I’ll get to know others who show up regularly for these sessions. For that hour, I’m immersed in a tribe of like minded individuals. Most of whom likely wouldn’t look at me strangely if I mentioned that I eat a low carb, high fat diet.
I might also show up for group bike rides I’ve seen. On my fixed gear track bike and be the odd man out who doesn’t need gears or brakes (or spandex). Should be a good conversation starter.
And I’ll also plan to do some running on the beach which I love. Even if it’s more solitary. But the solitary can also be a way to clear the mind and allow space for new things in life.
The Art Of Allowing
Clearly there is an element of going out in to the world and taking action to start making a life for myself here. But I also have to focus on “allowing” which is a bit more metaphysical in nature. And it can be a struggle for me as someone who likes to be assertive. But it’s something I have to cultivate.
What exactly do I mean? Well, if I immerse myself in constant thoughts of my imposed temporary isolation and being far from home, I’m not keeping my mind and energy open to all of the possibilities here. It takes time to get established in a new place. So I have to remain patient and keep an open mind toward allowing ideas, people, places, and activities to enter my existence and experience.
And if I’m constantly forcing things to happen through action I’m not providing an open space for life to place ideas, people, and places into my existence. Sometimes there is benefit to stepping back a bit as well. It can also help with avoiding frustration to keep a laid back, whatever will be will be attitude.
I have to make sure I leave room for unplanned possibilities. And I have to let go of any thoughts, feelings, ideas, places, or things that are blocking my energy and preventing me from allowing the future to unfold in the most abundant way.
I have to watch the sensations and thoughts that bubble up from my subconscious as I face down the unknown. My conscious mind has to observe them. And see them for what they are without judgement so it can dissolve any that don’t help and foster those that do. This leaves space for new and better thoughts and experiences to replace anything that might have been holding me back.
Ways To Dissolve The Fear Of The Unknown
While it’s important to avoid constant action and trying to force life to happen, there are some indirect actions one can use for the purpose of creating more space to allow.
One of the struggles I’m facing on my current adventure is loneliness. I don’t know too many people in this new area yet. I know that will come with time, but for now I’ve found a companion that keeps my mind at ease. And that companion is mother nature. When I’m on the beach, in the water, and feeling the warmth of the sun, I feel less lonely. I can’t say the same for sitting in traffic, or consuming electronic media and entertainment. So I make it a priority to commune with nature every day.
It’s also very powerful to reframe thoughts and situations. I could tell myself I’m going to be in this new place forever, and I better figure out every new aspect of life here ASAP. On the other hand, I can tell myself that I’m only committing to a year and will see what unfolds. By committing to a year, I give myself some real time to let life unfold, and experience this place and its weather through the entire cycle of a year. But more importantly it gives me the option to leave in time if I decide it isn’t the right place. I can deal with anything for a year. That puts my mind at ease and allows me to feel less urgency. Less urgency means I can focus on leaving some space to allow.
In the context of my one year commitment, I am also focusing on this as an opportunity to work on myself. One reason I chose this area is the access to nature, natural Vitamin D from the sun, and many ways to stay physically connected to the energy of the earth. It’s easy to find healthy food here and people are relatively active. So it’s a place to continue my healthy way of living and my training. I am looking at this adventure as an opportunity to get stronger in a lot of ways, some of which are new and fun. I plan to transform over the next year. And that goal of working on myself always keeps my mind quiet and allows me an outlet any time my mind starts to get away from me. It keeps me anchored in uncharted waters and it’s a common thread in my life no matter where I am. It’s a lot better than drinking away doubts and fears that may creep up.
I also plan to find ways to immerse myself in athletic competition. The competition of the work world has its place too, but it’s catty and political. Athletic competition is pure. Objectives are clear and success is easily defined. It also builds more camaraderie. Especially with men. When I was younger I always noticed that friendships sometimes came out of fist fights. It’s odd but true! And there are very few things that clear my mind as effectively as testing myself against others. So I’ll continue to do the HIIT workouts mentioned above because it involves friendly competition. Perhaps I’ll finally get back to jiu jitsu, or pick up Muay Thai. And who knows, maybe I’ll start working on my jump shot again and play some basketball.
So while these ways of changing my mindset and well being for the better aren’t necessarily “allowing” in and of themselves, they are ways to set my mind up to better allow for the possibilities out there.
Counterproductive States Of Mind
In addition to things one can do to create space for allowing, there are also states of mind that will block our flow in the world. That will cloud our minds and prevent us from letting in things that benefit us. They can also prevent us from seeing what is right in front of our faces.
The two that are the most destructive in my experience are frustration and jealousy. One might argue that anger could make this list as well, but in my mind anger is sometimes justified, and is a much more pure emotion that can actually be beneficial sometimes. Compared to justified anger, frustration and jealousy are extremely juvenile, petty states of mind. Broadcasting these feelings pushes the good people and things in life away from us.
And they are easy to get over with simple mindset shifts. Generally speaking, if we’re frustrated or jealous about something, all it takes to move on is to think about all we have to be grateful for and what we can do to improve whatever situation is causing those feelings. A bit of simple perspective, action, and mental re-framing.
Many times, frustration and jealousy are easy to come by for people who are prone to asserting themselves in the world. We go after something, and if it doesn’t come easily we get frustrated. Or we see others who already have what we’re going after and become jealous. Just remember that taking action can require many failures before having success. Learn to embrace the failures and the lessons they teach. But also remember that taking a step back and allowing instead of asserting can be a great way to reduce frustration.
Once these toxic states of mind are shed, we become antennas for things that are more beneficial to us.
Final Thoughts
In life there is a balance between asserting ourselves in the world, and creating a void to allow space for new things to unfold. And these approaches aren’t mutually exclusive. Sometimes certain indirect actions can clear the mind, improve biochemistry and mindset, and clear noise that holds us back. The resulting positive energy lets in good thoughts and clears space. So even while taking action, always keep the concept of allowing front of mind. The combination of action and allowing can open one up to the greatest possibilities for an interesting and abundant life.