I Can Be a Perfectionist
I have perfectionist tendencies. I expect a lot of myself. And when I make mistakes or otherwise fail to live up to my own expectations it drives me crazy.
The other day my boss found some formula errors in a spreadsheet I had updated. I know he understands these things happen and he didn’t address me negatively in any way. He just asked if I could make some corrections because he was looking to use my file for some financial info he was compiling. No big deal.
But my inner critic and ego went to work internally on my psyche which causes some stress and negative emotion.
To be honest, I don’t react in this scenario nearly as hard as I used to. I’ve lived long enough to know that these things happen and they pass. As they say, no use crying over spilled milk. What’s done is done. Fix it and move on.
But I still have to watch my mind for a few hours to ensure it doesn’t spiral too far in the wrong direction. After all, there are ramifications to negative thoughts.
Negative Reactions Can Lead to More Mistakes
From a practical standpoint, negative thoughts and being hard on oneself uses up precious energy in a foolish way and simply takes away from the mindset and energy necessary to do the best work possible. That can result in more sloppiness and mistakes which creates a cycle.
From a more metaphysical standpoint, what you put out is what you get back. Assuming thoughts manifest, why put self-defeating thoughts out into the ether? Even if that’s nonsense, the more practical and logical reasons not to engage in negative self talk are compelling enough. So just don’t go there.
Also, fear of mistakes holds us back from pushing and asserting ourselves. It’s better to take some risks, put oneself on the line, and make mistakes along the way, than it is to stay in the zone of lukewarm cushiness just to avoid potential failures.
Mistakes are part of learning and evolving, and often teach us more than successes. Embrace that part of the process.
How To Deal With a Mistake
If you screw something up and feel the onslaught of the ego coming, trying to tell you that you don’t measure up, there are ways to handle it consctuctively.
First, step back from your thoughts. Watch them as if you are watching somebody else’s thoughts. When you simply observe your thought processes in action from a detached standpoint, you’ll see that they are patterns of learned behavior and aren’t truly real. If you can master this practice you’ll notice that thoughts have less impact on your mood and they fade away more quickly.
It’s also helpful to think about other times when something similar happened. That reference point is a reminder that last time this happened, it passed and you eventually forgot about it.
And finally…
Remember That Everyone Makes Mistakes
In a turn of fortune, I discovered some mistakes in my boss’s spreadsheet a couple of days later. It really put me at ease to be reminded that everyone makes mistakes. We’re human. It’s simply part of the human condition to inevitably make some mistakes. Nothing can be done about that. Through thoughtfulness, diligence, and putting checks in place, we can minimize the number of things that go awry. And that’s something worth shooting for. But getting stressed and ruining days over something that’s just going to happen from time to time makes no sense.
So stop beating yourself up, keep an objective eye on your thoughts, know it will all pass in time, and maybe even laugh at yourself. It’s going to be okay.