Lifestyle and Relationships
I’m a bit of an outlier. A lot of people I know think I’m a little too hardcore. A little too disciplined and serious. Not fun enough sometimes. Always meticulous about what I eat, what I drink, how I train, what I read, the media and entertainment I consume, always putting my phone on airplane mode when it’s in my pocket.
Dating is tricky because girls always try to break me down with a bite of their ice cream or their pizza. At least the ones I’ve met. Just a little test of their powers of persuasion. And when I hold my ground, and explain that sugar is a net negative and wheat crust doesn’t sit well with me, it seems to be received as a personal insult.
Of course, I’d indulge in a ribeye slathered with butter in a heartbeat, so it doesn’t feel restrictive to me at all. I actually feel like I indulge all of the time. I also have no interest in insulting others, I just have my preferences and understand what works for me. But I digress.
Of course, I have a few friends who completely understand my path, preferences, and discipline. And this is why we run together. I respect their efforts to be their best, whatever that may mean, and they respect mine. On some level we’re all lone wolves doing our own thing and coming together on occasion to share ideas. This is how real friendships are formed.
On the flip side, people who think I’m crazy and can’t see past it tend to self-select themselves out of my life..
And that’s only natural. And welcomed. Because excellence, or at least the pursuit of it, tends to attract excellence. And mediocrity attracts more mediocrity. People always feel better cutting corners if they can convince others to as well, and those are the people they want to be around.
Juxtapositions
I’ve been divorced for five years now, and have dated quite a few lovely young ladies.
But most of them don’t know how to deal with me. They want me to come to their level. “Come on, eat cookies and watch Netflix marathons with me.” I have no idea why this is so important to them. And I get some weird looks on first dates if these topics come up and I’m honest about my views. It seems to result in less second dates and/or less long term connections when I’m not interested in wasting my Sundays on mimosa brunches with a bunch of random people on a regular basis.
Or maybe I just smell worse than I realize. But I’m pretty sure mediocrity doesn’t like being exposed or challenged for what it is. The juxtaposition can reveal a lot. And people hate giving up their easy dopamine hits and excuses to be indulgent. It’s much easier to eat the pint of ice cream and then blame genetics for being overweight, unhealthy, and prematurely aged.
*No, I’m not suggesting occasional ice cream automatically results in obesity. But occasional is very subjective, and for some it’s really not all that occasional. At least in my subjective opinion…
Would I Be Better Off Giving In?
I recently had the thought that perhaps I should compromise a bit and maybe I’d connect more easily with others. Maybe eat more chocolate chip croissants and work on my dad bod. Be more self destructive than self constructive.
I could date online instead of dealing with the multitudes of rejections that come with chatting up strangers on the street or at the store to get phone numbers and dates.
But taking the easy route, or any route that doesn’t move me towards my potential, is unacceptable.
Sure, letting go on occasion is healthy. I’m happy to slug some whisky or wine sometimes. Just not every night. And not every week for that matter. It’s about being mindful and not blindly feeding urges. Balance.
Anyhow, I realized upon some reflecting that being a bit unusual and striving for my own personal excellence is more likely to bring more excellence into my life. Even if I’m actually mediocre in reality, I’m pushing towards more and that’s the point. It will take an unusual girl to jive with me for more than a few dates, but I’m willing to wait for that. And I’ll be grateful that my approach to life weeded out all of the others in the long term so that there was room to let excellence in when it crossed my path.