Self Containment Is Power
I live in a major U.S. metropolitan area. I’m surrounded by hundreds of thousands of people. Yet I connect with very few of them. It’s not that I prefer to be a lone wolf. I’m just on a rare and unusual path, and there aren’t a lot of people who understand my way of living or the things that drive me. Rather than compromise my goals, preferences, and ability to maneuver, I’ll choose to roam the forest alone most of the time. Because self containment is power.
I build more strength when I maintain a very high level of personal freedom. I’m able to consistently do all of the things that increase my level of health, brain function, and well being. I can spend all of the time I want to advance my place in the world and work towards financial independence. I can dedicate myself to projects that will add value to my life.
Self containment also insulates a person a bit from the things happening around them. I’m not saying not to participate in others’ lives. But when a person has their own vision, mission, routine, values, self discipline, inner satisfaction, etc., they have a focus and a sense of center regardless of what is happening to other people in their life.
When someone no longer looks for direction, contentment and acceptance from outside of oneself, the possibilities for finding a unique path are greatly increased as well. The crab bucket is a very hard place to be a fierce individual. Not that it can’t be done, but it’s difficult. And the inner voice of wisdom and guidance gets muffled when a person doesn’t spend sufficient time alone cultivating it.
Not to mention excessive socializing wastes quite a bit of time. Not all socializing, just in excess. No matter how fun it might be, this is just the truth. And it often boils down to avoiding loneliness and boredom. Day drinking and video game marathons might be good times and good distractions, but unfortunately they aren’t extremely productive
Don’t get me wrong; this is not about judging others. Quite frankly, I don’t care too much about what others do if they aren’t bothering me. And when the masses are going with the general flow, they make it easier to stand out. For me it’s simply about being able to stay true to my own path by retaining the requisite amount of independence. Sometimes this requires some sacrifices and having the mental fortitude to move against the grain. But it’s worth it because self containment is power.
Self Realization Through Self Containment
One interpretation of the word pride is self love. Some consider a prideful person to be conceited, and perhaps some pride isn’t justified. But a person who has worked hard to achieve their goals and truly fulfilled their potential (and perhaps helped others with theirs along the way) has every right to be be proud. That’s because they’ve made the most of what they were given which really is the ultimate form of self love and personal power.
Author and radio personality Earl Nightingale used to say that success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal. When a person is self contained it is easier to stay dedicated to this progressive realization. To have the space to continue working towards difficult goals that take time, dedication, and patience.
This progressive realization prevents depression and apathy. A person on a mission is always excited and wishing for more hours in the day. They don’t wait for things to happen around them because they always have something to do. This leads to a healthy mind and well being. Which leads to even greater creativity, productivity, and self realization. It’s a very potent feedback loop and is another way self containment builds power.
So Does Self Containment Mean Not Having Friends?
Let’s not be so black and white.
When self contained, it’s actually easier to create a network of other strong and unique individuals. So yes, it’s possible to be self contained and still be part of a community. And this type of community is less prone to the pecking order and catty bullshit of the common social clique.
I have some close friends who are fiercely independent and we do enjoy connecting, sharing ideas, and working on the occasional project. For instance, I’ve begun talking to an old friend about learning to hunt this next year. Not exactly empty gossip over mimosa brunch. The idea is self improvement, life changing experience, and pushing each other. This is different than simply avoiding loneliness, boredom, or the deafening roar of one’s own meandering thoughts.
These friendships don’t require constant attention and maintenance. These friends don’t feel hurt or let down if we don’t talk every day. We can go many months without talking and not miss a beat. And we can easily retain and respect our individuality around one another. In other words, they’re true friendships.
We’re all working on our respective missions. And when we reconnect we have greater treasures to share with one another because we’ve been focused. Immersed in action, taking notes, and gathering knowledge.
My good friends have all been leaders in their lives. In sports, business, education, etc. And they take responsibility to be the leaders of their own lives as well. They’re intelligent and sociable, but they’re mission focused more than socially focused. Our socializing is a byproduct of working on something together, but it’s still great interaction. And perhaps a bit of ball busting.
Self Containment In Romantic Connections
Nobody wants a romantic partner who is needy. In particular, women find this to be a repulsive quality in a man. Naturally, they want a man who is a bulwark against life’s adversity and has the will power to influence the world around him. Someone who can make things happen and move through the ups and downs without melting into a puddle.
A self contained man is able to handle the situations that come his way because he takes responsibility for everything in his life. And if a woman walks away from him he still has a mission to focus on. A place to put his attention to create forward motion and continue bettering himself. Instead of wallowing over loss. This is yet another way self containment is power. And this state of being will make any person more attractive.
Also, two self contained people who have a loving relationship can be more collaborative. Rather than sitting on the couch all night every night watching Netflix, arguing over petty nonsense, and struggling over what to have for dinner. A man with a clear mission will provide a mission for the woman in his life as well. To support him in his self realization that will benefit them both. This foundation of mutually beneficial missions lays the groundwork for a healthy relationship.
Becoming Self Contained
Again, becoming self contained doesn’t necessarily imply being a total loner or recluse. To a great extent it simply means being more immune to outside forces. By having a vision and going after it tirelessly no matter what anyone else says.
Becoming self contained isn’t something that everyone will want to do. A lot of times it requires saying no to people, and some people are terrible at this because they just want to please others and feel included. But the willingness to say no and deal with the consequences allows a person to realize much greater personal growth and development. So a first step in becoming self contained is simply not giving a shit what anyone else thinks.
It is also very helpful to develop a mission based around development of the self. Once a person starts developing personal power though the things they choose to do and consume (or not do and consume), it becomes addictive. This is self realization kicking in. It triggers greater desire for self containment, and that self containment then triggers more growth and development.
Something that goes hand in hand with this is a desire to be great and do great things. Insist on greatness. Own it. Ignore inner and outer voices that aim to push you towards the comfort of the middle of the bell curve. Even if it means feeling like an outsider sometimes.
Embrace self containment, even when it can be difficult. Connect with others who do the same. And reap the benefits.